Muddled thoughts about a possibility

I feel like I’m always dreaming, when reality comes crashing, I feel like ive never slept, each day folds into one.

You seek my attention with the tips of your fingers, typing to me, I’m just as bad, my lonely self quickly replys. I seek what you write, yet I never receive what you say. Are you just words?

You and your world is a dream I use to write about. Your world, you being you, is something I use to imagine about many years ago. You were once a dream I had hoped for, to get to, at some point in my life. I chased and searched for that dream but when I got there it never became a reality. But since I left, I feel it could have been, now I’m more alone and I feel like ive lost a dream, and a life I could have had, but its all down to my own imaginative mind. If I didn’t get so strung up on a flicker of a possibility id be okay. but you are a hope that’s never going to be. You don’t like me the way I hope you do, you just want what you cant have, like I cant have you therefore I wish I could but its an impossibility.

Here right now is all we need, its how you feel, its what you say that’s got me going blind in hope for you. The thoughts that you say to me has got me falling, falling for something so handsome and wicked, that I cant have. You take over my mind, just one ping of a message, that’s all it takes.

Honey did you know it rains from the sky? but it pours from the heart? Nar I didn’t either. Dance with me like you want to, move with the flow, like one two three, you make me feel young and believable. These thoughts that run through my mind don’t happen, you give me a little flutter just by the sound of your voice, but why? Are you even here with me? We had a chance, yeah a one chance but we didn’t take it. Fears, insecurities got us making silly excuses, now we have no chance of anything. Why do this to a weak mind? I cant be who you want and need me to be. Id love to be that person, I desire for you to be my chance, but I’m a fool for not saying Hi at a chance. I’m the fool for coming home and hoping everything would be the same, because the funny thing is, it is, thats the joke because I’m not the same. I cant go back to a dream, I cant stay here, so what do I do?

Ive been wondering why you’ve been messaging me, what would you like from me? I want to be something, but what do you want to be? Do you think about me in a glimpse, a midnight thought? or do you have a thought in the daylight about me, a convo youd like to have but I’m just not there?

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