In one

I’m in a mood, I don’t like planning or organizing and thinking about the future and what I should do. But I need to do it because I don’t want to just work and live like this, not that there’s anything wrong with it, I just want something. I feel like I need something to make myself feel better. I just feel sad, even though everything on average is going well. Im getting annoyed with myself, its like I look at stuff to book or to plan but I always hold back or self doubt myself, because I think I’m only looking at this stuff because I feel the need to feel my time. I don’t have the feeling or the thought that I actually want to do it. Or see these places, because I just think when I book it what am I gonna do there. Is that because of the paranoid anxiety that I get, or is that me just being self conscious and silly. I want to change but I feel like I’ll never change. I want to do things and have something meaningful in my life but I don’t know what that is, therefore I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m tired of feeling lost or doing the same thing on repeat when I don’t really want to be doing it. I don’t really get the honest point of the life

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