Thought for a sad feeling

Life is what you create, life is a choice. Everything you choose to do, shapes the life that you live. So most importantly your thoughts shape you to be you. Good thoughts, good vibes, equals a good you with good love. Bad thoughts lead to negativity which leads to a bad day, slow goal reaches, and a miserable existence. Yeah you have a bad day and some good days or it’s the other way round. Emotions are just to powerful, they have the ability to knock you off your feet, but they also have the ability to lift you so high, you feel like you are on mountain overlooking life. But the bad feelings can make you feel so small, so ashamed to be who you are, to feel like you are constantly in someone’s way or that you don’t belong. I hate those feelings, those are the feelings I don’t want to feel anymore. Sometimes when you know what happens to be the trigger, but you don’t want it to be that trigger, breaks your heart even more.
I’ve done well the past year, a complete change from the year before, yeah I still have the odd day, but I’m not as bad as I’ve been. But a knock like this doubts everything that I do and who I am.
Some days I question why
You could be anywhere, anywhere in the world, doing anything you wanted to do, or you could simply be coasting somewhere, being peaceful or damn bored else where. But I wanted the love of family. The love of friends and most importantly the love for myself that I knew I once had. But that, right there is the problem. You can never go back, you can never be the person you once was, because you’ve changed, even without realizing you are no longer the person you once was.
This battle of life with myself is tiresome, so I changed it around. I’m working on my inner self, but the absence of something is obvious.
Something is missing
I’m a fool for thinking I could make things work

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