Restless yet tired

Basically fed up yet I’m not doing anything to change that and ugh, I’m tired of saying these words. I don’t know how to go on, to what’s next. Im tired I’m restless and fed up of this monologue of life. Then scream at me and tell me to do something but then I utter under my breath im tired. I’m always tired, yet I can’t sleep. Why the bloody hell I can’t sleep, it’s annoying and it’s frustrating. I’m so angry with life with what I’m doing with every breath that I utter. I don’t even want to be around myself. I don’t know how to be around anyone without getting irritated or ruining something for someone and then I say to myself what’s the point in me being me because I don’t get anywhere I’m always disappointed with what I do. I’m not even truly awake to appreciate what I do. It’s like I’m waiting for something yet I’m continuously waiting and I’m not getting anywhere. Nothing comes to you. Happiness isn’t given, it’s how you look on things. It’s how open you are and I’m neither. How do you change that without getting so angry with yourself? How do up lice when your a ball of hate?

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