Just get on with it
Brutal. Is it possible to feel more than lost before? I’m not hundred percent how I feel. I haven’t gotten far as its only been a week. An amazing, different week at that. You can defiantly say it’s been an eye opener in some extent. I know I’m not going to change, some days are going to be hard some days are going to be good. I don’t have a sense of direction, I think that’s why I feel more lost than ever before. Before I had the ability to turn around and stay doing what I did before but now I’m on the road to somewhere I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. Every time I pick up the phone I feel connected to the past. It’s not necessary a bad thing but it feels with phone in hand I’ve never left, I’m just on holiday. I might be seeing, visiting places but this isn’t a holiday. So what do I do?
I like the sense that everyday is different, doesn’t mean I have to do something everyday.
Princess is still too high, too tight. But if it all goes, nothing to show, I’ll have to find a ways of alternative. Like what though?
So as I’ve said, as well as keep going on about how long I’ve done this for, even though in some sense feels longer. It’s been a week, the body’s struggles. Back aches, haven’t a clue why. My calves are stiff with every move, especially the left. Can’t really understand why that is, it’s not like I’m running anymore. Which in some sense I miss. So I thought maybe it could be all the bites that keep appearing on my body. Who knows. I’m not a big fan of getting pissed but it seems like a slight requirement. Obviously drinking too much makes my insides burn. So the body takes a toll every now and then.
Like the feel of feeling unclean, no longer fresh. But are we ever fresh? Like the sense of skin being tickled on the underside, yet no proof to what’s upon my skin. Just feel the need for a good scrub. I also feel like I miss food, yet I eat every day, choose what I wish, yet it never hardly seems to satisfy me. So how can you miss food, when you have food?