Hey Joke How are you?
Wonderfully funny, aren’t you just
Oh Joke how you bring funniness to my bleakness
How you funny side tickles me so
Oh I do love you Joke
Joke, you know how you do that, oh damn what is it…. Oh yes that’s right, sarcasm. Yes you know when you do that sarcasm thing, funny jokes but not really jokes. Yeah well, that’s you,
Because you are not freaking funny
You make me cry in intense pain and its all your fault
Me and you joke are one person. Your not misery today, your not happy, that never happens. So you are joke, but you are not funny
We have only one full month of UK left, we have one month of working at this place left. Yet all you can think, your unhinged mind, is on how to destroy your body to the fullest. You are so not funny.
It would be great if you could tickle me silly, but ive only got the jittery belly, and wobbly sides.
Why cant you see, that what you have is fine. Why do you always feel the need to improve it, or wait have someones say that what you have is amazing. yeah fine, its not amazing, and its very mundane, but new chapters starting in a couple of months. why cant you be happy with what you’ve got whilst you’ve got it? Great now I sound like everybody else
Has anyone ever tried to plan something that you cant plan for? Has anyone ever felt the way I do?
No, maybe someone has felt similar to myself, but no one feels exactly the same. Everyone feels differently
God, this whole sadness its grating on my tits, my very small tits.
My head is consumed with food, and being slim, and food, and what to do with myself. So much negativity.  Its no wonder I have a new one to my collection.
I expect way too much of people. I expect them to think about me, and how to consider me.
This whole talking thing, the thing that I feel like I fail miserably in, is getting to me.
If I cant have a simple conversation with family, that I sort of like, then how am I going to cope or find myself in the new chapters of life.
I’m so silent.
It isn’t exactly a bad thing, its just no ones ever been happy with me being silent. Why don’t you talk? whats new with you? what am I going to learn from you then? Oh guess not a lot then. Talk to me then. Whats on your mind.
Ive never been a one to express. whether that’s down to the fact that my confidence got knocked when I did express myself, therefore never feeling like what I say is the right or knowledgeable thing. I don’t really speak unless I need too. but I can certainly tell you my mind is never silent. It maybe dull and boring, due to my lack of knowledge and my unachievable life.
wait.. my shining light is coming through, may sound like I’m going to be contradicting myself, but if no one is ever going to say these things to me, I might as well say them to myself.
Babe, You may not be as knowledgeable as others, but you are certainly not a dimwit. You are compassionate when you want to be. Yes you’ve made mistakes and regrets but you wouldn’t change any of it, because its made you to be this person. You may not love yourself, but you’ve never fully given up on yourself. yes theres been dark times, unhealthy shit but a little part of you still loves you. You may not be page model beauty, but you sure as hell not ugly. You might not be radiant but you are something. You just have this inner shell that’s not been broken. within in this shell, you are somebody, the time just hasn’t come for you to break out of that shell and let go. You hold onto things because if you let go, you question yourself to who will you be. Let go, let go of this darkness, let go of these mundane thoughts.
You don’t need someone else to love you. You just need to love yourself. Don’t be scared to be the person you want to be. Be confident in who you want to be, embrace that person and let that person shine. No matter who you are, or what you say or who you become, someone will always say horrible negative stuff. Look at where you are now, does anyone really truly care about who you are? No they don’t, you are just a passing face. But yourself is not. You live with you. No one else lives with the voices in your head, no one lives with the feelings and thoughts that you have. You are you. Be someone you can be proud of, be someone who you can smile about. Be happy with who you are, because that’s all you need. Become the person you want to be. the negativity and bad influential people will leave.
Remember you will always be someone, whether great or not, as long as you continue to breath
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