so random, like very random
Some people are just so pretty, like drop dead gorgeous, but you see with these people they know it. They know they are beautiful and gorgeous, which to me, makes the beauty drop. I can appreciate someone who is beautiful but doesn’t know. I mean they know they are okay good looking, but they sometimes have off days, so it keeps them grounded. If you get what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I like someone who knows how to handle themselves etc, but sometimes that can come across as cocky and arrogant. With those traits it makes me feel conscious and I wouldn’t be able to be comfortable around that person. The shy ability and the, they don’t notice their own worth type. Its always good to be able to boost up someones confidence, and to see them take those words in their stride.
I found this photo, well image. Its obviously of a person, just not sure if its with this said description, but I have to admit. He’s pretty good looking, its what made me click on the page, as well as randomly write something about gorgeous, beautiful people. They always look nice when they look yummy, makes you think of what it could be like if that person was in your life. Guess the image will do for when I end up reading.
I probably sounds like I’m dying, but I’m not, well not that I know off. These are just a few things that I’ll miss, well things that I can think of, they will most likely change when I’m on the travels, as you don’t always know what you are going to miss until you are in the situation;
Bed, the good old comfort of thy bed. The cosiness that covers my injured soul. The thing that I’m always reluctant to leave as well as enter. As soon as you are in, I never want to leave. Just sense that its yours, that bed is yours, and only yours.
Food, being able to buy what you want, or make a quick meal, now its going to be budgeted and end up eating things that I wont have a clue what I’m eating.
Space, the sense where you can go off and no where you are going and knowing how to get back, just being on your own. having your own time and not conscious of other people.
Toilets, everyone likes to feel confident when they pee, or poo, right? The fact that you can pretty much go when and whenever you like. Its going to be difficult traveling, not knowing where there is a toilet, always conscious that someone else is waiting to use the loo. The fact that you might have to pee out in the open. All inner shyness just going out the window
Family, the ability to go into the next room and saying hey to that person. The comfort of blood.
That feeling, you know the one, it continues
You know when you feel, like empty, like you have no worth. Like what you do, everyday stuff, it feels like you don’t achieve anything, even though you go running, or work etc. That feeling, that when you talk to someone, yet it never processes, so you end up shaking your head, like what was the point in that, that type of feeling. or when someone says one thing, and you believe them because you have some small sense of hope, then you find out that they are lying or feels like they are. then you take a breath, and realise in your tired mind that you actually have no one, and the point in life, is pretty much useless and very mundane. ends up leaving you in a state of, lets stand out in the rain or more dramatically jump out of a window. That type of feeling
Don’t you just like/hate that hazy feeling, when you are half a sleep and everything passes by, like did that actually happen, to the why am I even doing this. you are that tired that you are not even aware of what you are doing or saying. Or even aware that you just ate endlessly, just because.
Theres this woman who, I wouldn’t say admire, I would say care about. Shes so lovely, yet tells you straight. She caring and kind, but shes been through so much, yet she always keeps on going. Shes had hard knock backs, like really bad knock backs, but she doesn’t let them affect her in anyway. Well they do in some sense, but shes doesn’t let them kill her positivity. she still goes. She knows how to have fun, she knows how to lighten up anyones mood. Shes got a knowledgeable mind. Shes straight with you. Shes just so lovely. Its the bouncy personality that I’ll miss. I’ll miss her as a whole, just that affectionate personality. Shes just one of a kind.
So I don’t really have anyone to talk to. But then again what would I say. I feel like I’m going through emotions but not really processing them. I’m aware I’m going through time but I’m not aware that I’m not feeling it. if that makes any sense. I just feel dead empty, like I’m watching life, but I’m not doing any life.