I’m not doing this anymore

I’m not doing this anymore
I’m not waiting for my stupid computer to work itself
I’m not waiting for the cracks in my hands to break apart further
I’m just not doing this anymore
I’m not surrounding myself around you, Or any other negative heart
I’m not hearing you moan, instead I’m hearing you laugh
I’m not having the imagine of my cartoon self shaking her head in sorrow, due to the fact and things that I think and feel
Fine, Ill admit it, my fucking heart and soul is breaking. Its being squashed, and pulled, and pushed, basically abused. I cant do it anymore. I cant live with you. I cant hear another thought, especially the angry words, the raised voice. you are killing me, and I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want to hear you. I don’t want to be you. I don’t have it in me to improve, because its never good enough for you. You even think writing this is pathetic. but what I feel is, broken. I don’t want it. Its nots worth it. You simply are not worth it. I cant deal with the words you throw at me.
God, don’t you see what you make me be and feel, and how it affects those around us. you make me treat people like shit, you realise it, and that is even worse. I don’t want to be you anymore. I don’t want to be this pathetic creature that makes me feel like I have difficulties, but these difficulties are nothing compared to something real in the world. I’m fed up of punching walls, that my hands feel funny. I’m tired of thinking about driving dangerously, or slicing my wrist, but you never do it the way you should. Instead you just cause more problems, more explanations and more things that I have to live with.
I just want to be able to cry a river and shout that I cant do this and that I don’t want to do this anymore.
I want to punch you in the face, and shake you, shouting that I cant be you anymore, that I cant stand another stupid thought of yours.
I just don’t want to do this anymore
The funny thing is, you are killing me, yet I cant kill you
I so want to
My hands are cracking, my soul is going.
My head is ranging,
my feelings are sorrowed out
I am you, and you are me
You is me/I
I cant do it
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