Pos-o- Not

Lets put a spin on life!

Why the hell not. Lets boost it up, bring forth the ways of positivity

you’ve got to admit life does get a little testy after being so downy, as well as you become annoyed at every little thing. not surprised I’ve gone off my rocker.

So positivity. Now what exactly is positivity? My google friend, google, says ‘Positivity is the frequent experience of pleasant emotions.’ That’s nice, isn’t it?

Sounds like a wonderful emotion, but it just seems when I try it, it feels false. Is that because I’m not use to being positive that, when I try it will take time, like many things, for me to adapt to the feeling? But isn’t it suppose to come naturally?

Anyway. This is suppose to be a good enthusiastic post, but like my many before, I wont count on it. – Now that’s where I’ve gone wrong, right? It suppose to be something like. I’ll try to make this post light, but I might stray a little, but I’ll try. Ah who knows.

Apparently if you feel confident, things change massively for you. So if I went around pretending to feel confident, would that make a difference? I mean you cant just instantly feel something and bam everything is going well. I get the fact If you’re more confident, others will come to you for support or knowledge. I get that if you’re confident you feel more relaxed and joyous about life, as you are happy with who you are and what you are doing, but does it really draw others in. Does it really make other people want to know you?

Guess I could try being positive, maybe it will do some good. I just find that when I am happy, rare as it is, people are always bringing you down, or making you think about things that you cant change or prepare for. To me, it just seems to be easier to be already a downer, but Ive got to admit, it doesn’t exactly sound appealing to being a misery. It sounds great to be walking around all confident with a rare smile on my face. I can almost picture it, but my fierce eyebrows are down.

Days like these, I wish I lived an entertaining life, or did something worth while with it.

I mean of late, everyone seems to be right, so right, that Im always wrong, and it frustrates me. I get the fact that everyone is entitled to there own opinion, its just annoying that when I try and talk, it always feels like that the person isn’t actually listening to me, that they don’t care what I have to say, as they do the complete opposite to what I’ve said. Then they over rule me in the voice department and don’t let me finish what Im trying to say. So I just seem to be getting so annoyed at everything, at every conversation I seem to be having. I shouldn’t talk to people, people don’t really talk to me anyway, but when they do, it annoys me. Even though I crave some form of conversation. So whats that about?

As I was saying before my typy hand had the runs; Days like these, I wish I was a somebody.

In my head, the mighty dream land, Im out exploring. Discovering some wilderness that’s just a beauty to be hold. But in real land, my body moans that its constantly tired, and my head whinges that its bored, yet so sleepy. Theres always an excuse to why I don’t do anything in my life. Its pretty pathetic to be honest.

Theres 365 days a year, I work less than half of those days, so that leaves me about 183 days where I could be doing amazing adventures. yet I don’t. I could be hiking the mountains of life right now. Or I could be petting an animal at some random zoo, Or staring into the ocean, counting stars, laughing to myself at some random quote. I could be doing something. Instead Im writing about the failures, and woes of my life. A life I haven’t even lived.

That’s wrong, I’ve lived a little, but probably in the wrong reasons.

My adventurous side, goes to the dark side;

I’ve been abseiling, dangling from a rope

I’ve done a bungee jump for charity, falling endlessly

I’ve climbed the top of the 02 arena

Visted many zoos, They all look like caged animals, oh

I’ve pushed myself in a bootcamp, body hurting but a so good experience

They’ve all be great, but they are now just a list.

I probably need to find a human manual who can tell me the way of living in the now, embracing the moment.

I think that’s how life should be. But I’ve never personally done it, and I don’t know how. No matter how much planning you do, there will always be a worry that you haven’t thought/ prepared for. You cant plan every little detail, you cant prepare for every emotion you are going to experience. Youll be ready in the moment, because you’ll have to be.

Just a simple thing of wanting to go travelling, becoming such a pain. The plan, the thoughts, the have you got this, have you done this. All the did you realise. For such a simple thing of, pack you bag, lets go exploring, it seems like so much trouble. Surely it shouldn’t be so mind numbing?

If you have to think about everything in your life, to the depth where, well quite frankly. I just don’t want to think. thinking is difficult and Id rather not.

I know I’m not perfect. I know I can be confusing and hard to work or understand, but I’m human. I just want to live, I just don’t know how too.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s