Sometimes you just need to take a minute, to register yourself, to check in and ask ‘Are you okay? Are you truly okay?’
Its easy enough to push your own emotions away and think that they don’t matter, that how you feel is just a silly feeling. But sometimes you just reach a point, to a breaking point. Ive always thoughts emotions are silly, why get so wounded about such and such. why get sad about someone or happy in a moment, so I don’t display them often, but my insides still feel. My heart still breaks, my throat squeezes tight, my eyes swell, my mind explodes.
Lets face it, whos really okay? Maybe today is just a good day and tomorrow is a bad one.
We all reach a point, we all carry on. But sometimes I don’t want to.
I don’t want to say goodbye to you, but I feel like I’m loosing you. I’m loosing something. Maybe even my own self to an extent, but then it makes me question, who am I really. I hate self doubt in all categories. I hate that its so easy to fall out of love with yourself, that its so easy to see the negative but never the positive.
The world is a huge place, what does a tiny person like myself have to play in it. Should my world just be small, the way that it is, but I feel so lost and fed up with myself.
Letting people in is a difficulty of mine, but it just seems when I start to, theres always a good bye. Is there ever a real connection.
Don’t you get tired of waking up everyday, feeling a little sad, but you put on a brave misery face anyway, you get on with your day anyway, even when the day ends you just feel even worse than you started. Your throat squeeze, trying to swallow those emotions, but they don’t go down quietly they give you an emotional headache instead.
I don’t get how people do it, how they do life. I feel like an idiot, because all I do is complain. Complain to an empty head, and sad mind. I don’t know how to make myself better.
Don’t you find the world to be a lonely place?
When things go bad, I look for an alternative, and idea or a place to escape to. But theres only so much running you can do. But I already know you cant run away from yourself, but that’s the one person I try to escape from. How did liking your ownself become so complicated. Insecurities, fears, loneliness make life difficult.
You should never have to be alone
But sometimes it just feels like you are always by yourself.